Person approaches counter (I am using the term person rather than customer or prospective customer for reasons that follow) bemused at her current situation and attempts to build up small talk... I am polite and move the conversation towards ordering...

Her response: "I can't afford to buy anything. I got 1-24 on one card and 1-25 on the other card, ...even then I cannot afford anything...".

Oh okay, and what exactly are you doing here wasting my time? I advise the customer that even if she had the money across two cards we are unable to split the payment by two cards - only cash and card.

So now is the time she should probably be making tracks... still proceeds to stay for a further 5 minutes hanging around like a bad smell. I don't give freebies. I hate meaningless transactional small talk.